Friday, August 9, 2013

Moving, gardening, becoming a HCG eating monster and more!

     Where to start... I have been taking a blogging break, and by that I mean, locking the computer in the closest , hiding under the covers and refusing to write, even a grocery list. I wish that was a joke but I have really been scared to write, I guess I felt like I did not have any "good news" to share so why share at all? I see now I think that may have been a trick of the devil, keeping me away when really this blog is helpful to myself and my process.

   In the past few months we have moved into our new house, in the same town as where I grew up. I cannot tell you how good it has been to be home. I feel so much better here, I am more active, I am spending time with my family daily, I am able to help my grandparents when they need it. I am really grateful that we were given this opportunity. The move itself helped me to clear my head, let go of some of my obsessive moments when charting. Things became more laid back and I think a certain grace was given to us in terms of our fertility. After we moved all our things in and got the house just as we wanted it, we brought in two foster dogs, they stayed a short while but helped make us feel more at home here. So much so that my prayer is if we are to adopt a dog that God put the perfect situation on our laps , bc I would adopt any and all of them. I have spent countless hours weeding,digging and planting in the back yard, ok it is a tiny space but I am thankful to have a spot to grow some herbs and peppers. Our house has been filled with peace and love and truly grace, for which I am so grateful for.
   That being said, our fertility has also had some new developments. I started clomid, those of you who know me, know I avoid this for a long while. I was scared of the side affects but after much prayer and thought , I popped that little white pill. Don't ya know it worked, I ovulated right on time ,day 14, something I have never ,ever , done before. I also started HCG injection, things were looking good, my chart looked, dare I say, almost normal. Then reality set back in, my body would not hold the HCG. The doctor tells you not to take a pregnancy test when doing the injections bc you will get a false positive, in my case I got negatives. Every P+ 3,5,7,9 I would inject 2000 units of HCG into my belly and by night fall, they would all be gone. My body would eat them up like some crazed HCG monster. So as I tried my list of new medications, stumped my doctor and charting instructor, the negative tests piled up and good old Aunt Flow arrived right on time.
   As for the spiritual aspect of my life, I have been feeling my closer to God. I have started Light weigh a Catholic weight loss program. It has a bible study, daily sacrifices, prayers and much more. I feel some major graces flowing in terms of light weigh , and boy am I thankful. I also started total consecration to Mary. GULP. This I was really nervous about , but with the help of two beautiful new friends, and the heavens of course, I am really enjoying this journey to Jesus though Mary. I have never felt so loved and cared for, both here on earth and in Heaven. Even though I seem to be a guinea pig for infertility treatments , I feel a strong peace.
  That is all for now my dear friends, thank you so much for you support and love these past few months, I love you all !